Every now and then, I get this feeling of loneliness. I just can’t escape from this cycle. I had a lot in mind, plans for the future, my dreams and aspirations as an artist. They said that young people tend to forget the limitations and all we think about is the possibility but it’s definitely wrong (in my opinion only). I tend too see my age as a limitation, it’s like i’m a bubble, not inside a bubble but actually a bubble. I can go anywhere, be whatever shape but the time will come that I will just suddenly pop and be forgotten. I know, you might think that I’m being serious about that idea and that I should get over it but I just can’t. I just can’t, for now maybe?
I’ve been reflecting on my self and I realized that as I grew older I’m becoming more aware of the future and just the thought of the future scares me. The ‘unknown future’ it’s like not knowing when to stop or start something. I feel like i’m lost and nowhere to be found.
I’ve been like this since I graduated college, so i’m guessing that I need a lot of time to fully adjust myself to the new environment.
As I remember, there’s also an issue with myself. I am doubting myself too much. I know that I should think about myself and everything but it just doesn’t seem right. I always think that in everything I do, I will definitely fail or i can’t do that. It’s so frustrating and at the same time a worry for me. Hopefully, I can get through this with God’s help. 🙏