Think Happy Thoughts

This week was like a roller coaster ride, scary. Just like how upsetting a bad day could be, well I think I’m having a bad week. I’m like crying for three consecutive days. Physically and mentally draining but still trying harder to be optimistic about life, be positive, but what scares me is that what if all of this positivity will turn into a snowball of sadness and anger and everything in between?

It’s like I’m wandering in the desert expecting to see an ocean. I know it doesn’t make any sense, just like how I don’t have any sense right now.

Right this moment I realized one thing about, me, starting a blog. I’m not starting to blog just for mere fun, it’s sharing the things I can’t say to the people around me, or close to me. My blog is like an open book, with me as the author. This blog reflects my life, how imperfect a person could be. 

I want to do so many things, some might think maybe because i’m just 21 and wanted to explore everything in this world, but i think, i’m doing this because I don’t know where I belong in this huge world I’m in.

I’m just a normal human being, I cry (a lot), I laugh, I make mistake, I have done awful things, i am not perfect. And now I’m feeling lost, I feel nothing. 

I just wanted people to believe in me, that I can do things on my own ways. Is it that hard?

Well, I’m hurt. I guess. 

 

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