Life Doesn’t Go The Way You Want It To Be

I’m just 21 years old and I know I’ve got a lot to learn about life, I don’t even have a job to begin with. I’ve never had someone whom I crazily fell in love with, never had a real relationship, never cried because of a break up, never got to be interviewed for a job, and never got a pay check. It’s just that I have so many dreams about my future but I don’t even know where to start.

After graduation you keep believing in what the people whom experienced facing the ‘real world’ as what everybody calls, they say, reach for your dreams, you can do it.

Maybe not everyone can do it, like how I can’t do it, for now. Maybe achieving a goal isn’t always the first step in entering the real world. It’s trying everything that you could and fail. So that after you fail, you will realize another way to do things and another lesson have been learnt.

Failing is something to be experienced to be able to succeed. I believe everyone have failed in their lives. Some may have failed miserably, terribly, but what’s important is that how will you be able to turn that failure into success.

But maybe that is my problem, I’m scared of failing. I failed a test, well a lot of test actually. I mean, I’m afraid of trying and doing my best and still fail. I hate it. The frustration I feel every time I work hard for something and then fail afterwards. It’s like fooling myself that I can do it even its obvious that I will fail.

I am the type of person who gets easily discourage. I don’t like it when people belittle me. I am a fat rather than a chubby child, growing up is a little difficult especially when kids your age teases you and while growing up it makes you realized sometimes you’re being bullied. The teases that sometimes hurt you longer that the other words they call you.

My friends and family might say that I am very confident, strong and extroverted type of person, I am not. You’re unlikeable. That’s how you will see yourself. While growing up, I tend to rely on myself more. Saying to myself that nobody will protect you, the way you will be able to protect yourself.

At some point in my life, I even hated myself, but then I realized, why would I hate myself if the only person who knows me more than anyone else is me.

I failed.
That’s what I thought to myself I’ve failed not only the people who are there for me but also myself. I failed to appreciate myself the way I am made by God. I failed in protecting myself from being hurt and from that failure I realized that I am unique in my own beautiful way I may not have the most beautiful face, smartest brain, highest I.Q in the world but I am who I am uniquely created and will succeed and achieve my goal in life.

Every failure might come in different sizes and shapes it’s just a matter of how you will be able to see through those failure that it’s just a test, a test of perseverance.

 

 

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